Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
