So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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