I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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