i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
did i just pee glitter
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
