i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
