i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize