ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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