Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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