Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
