I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
