so that wasnt chicken after all
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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