It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
