I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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