Banned from zoo.
Again?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize