I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
