I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
