can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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