just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
