Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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