I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
