i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So much rum. So many feels.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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