You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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