erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
