I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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