Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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