Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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