Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
