Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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