ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
