If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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