filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So squirting runs in the family.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
