She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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