i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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