Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It was confusing and full of hummus
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
