I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize