I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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