The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
