After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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