My hair reeks of homosexuality.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
