I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
