Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
