I'm going to jail i love you
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Alive.
So much puke
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
