so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
