Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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