So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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