we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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