Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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