Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder meâ€
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
