it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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