My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize