i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
