Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
