I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
