She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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