I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
